The regulatory environment of Fortran is quite *laissez-faire*: if there is agreement among a community that a particular program transformation preserves a program's (socially constructed) meaning, then one is free to apply the it. In Java, such transformations are expressly forbidden: a program must appear to have been executed in program order.
Fortran's optimization terrain is painfully dull: either the programmer tiles explicitly or the compiler tiles implicitly. Java's optimization terrain is exquisitely Baroque: implicit tiling might be attempted by a byte-code compiler, a byte-code optimizer, a Just-In-Time compiler, a dynamic compiler, a static compiler, a preprocessor, or even a garbage collector. In addition, native libraries might be consulted or local dialects (heavily persecuted) spoken.
Our talk is completely void of technical content. Being, rather, a travelogue, beginning with a summary of Java restrictions that tend to inhibit tiling, continuing with our (largely possitive) experience with explicit tiling in Java, moving on we present a taxonomy of implicit optimization strategies in Java. Finally, we conclude with our predictions as to whether Java will take over the world.